Is there such a thing as word therapy? Can arranging letters in a certain order be powerful enough to soothe our past, present and perception of the future?
I believe that the answer to this is yes. Words can soothe, direct and heal us. In the current world climate it has to be OK to talk about how we are and the things that help us.
I am not finding this present moment in the history of our planet easy.
However, for me personally I would not swap it for another time in my past, a time I have tried to walk away from without looking back. Namely the time I experienced hyperemesis gravidarium (HG) aka extreme pregnancy sickness.
Lockdown is making me think back to those times. When I was pregnant for a 2nd and 3rd time I felt helplessness as the tiredness and sickness battered me and meant I couldn’t be the mum I wanted to. I feel a bit helpless now too. Like I’m limited by my situation and I can’t give my kids the life I want to.
I wanted to walk away from the HG. Not look back. Until one bright day in the future when enough distance had passed that I felt able to “help other mums to be” in what is a very misunderstood condition. I’m not there yet. To tell you the truth I find it hard to think about what they may be going through and want to block it out. I don’t know if sharing mini horror stories about some of the experiences I had would help. Or indeed sharing those stories of the concern and care I received that become brighter and clearer with time. How can I find the letters to string together and form words that would allow other people experiencing this to know that I understand?
What I can say is that my kids have turned out wonderfully! The day long sessions of cbeebies that my eldest two experienced when I had HG seem to have had no lasting effect. Just as now my youngest is soaking up lots of daytime TV as her big brother and sister are homeschooled by my husband and I am hiding upstairs on my laptop working. (I’m not anti TV at all I actually think it’s great and am really grateful for it but y’know… my little one is used to days out and misses the swings and slides and her siblings miss their school friends).
I hope this post has reached out to you and helped. Maybe it’ll find someone experiencing HG or someone who knows someone with it. I am grateful to everyone who is raising awareness about HG, charities and organisations and people who are talking about their experiences.